'Thank god it's Monday' - Every Autowala.

'Wish you joyous Holi. Hope your pichkari has no wikileak!' - Manmohan Singh

when 2 couples come face to face,Girlfriends look at each other's dress & boyfriends look at each others Girlfriends.

How does a Punjabi demand a payment from a fat businessman?

Cheque de fatty!

The movie '2012' is gonna be really funny/awkward when we're watching it in 2013.

A Girl wid Good Geography has Bad History and a Girl wid Good History has Bad Geography :)

You are Next

Old people at weddings always poke me and say "you're next"...

So i started doing the same thing to them at funerals...

Why should I attend someone's funeral if they're not going to attend mine?

No, I dont have bad handwriting. I have my own font.

The beauty of vodka is that it looks like water. The beauty of office is that water bottles are allowed

Question We Hate when our parents ask us "Would you jump off a cliff if your friend did?"

World's smallest resignation letter... "Dear Sir, aaaakh thoo. Thank You."

"The greatest thing about Internet is that you can quote something and totally make up the source" - Albert Einstein

A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up when he starts removing it.

Facebook is populated with people crying about their relationship problems!!!!

A prostitute told me she will do anything for Rs 1000. She's coming round later to paint my house.

Customer technical support

"In any business, the customer is always right, except when he calls
technical support."

H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K. = Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge!!!

My Mates

My mates really are hilarious. They acted so shocked when I told them
that my wife was diagnosed with HIV.

Twitter is the only place you can legally follow women